jayaresea.com -- current

Frank Fiasko

jayaresea — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 07:14:09 GMT

The pic's from over 10 years ago. Senior year of high school. There's me an my unibrow 2nd from the right. "Fiasko" is on my left, refusing to feel me up for some reason. I hadn't heard from or of since then basically. No one would tell me anything about him and his post-PV life and over time the mystery gnawed at me, becoming one of the most intriguing things left on my "To Find Out" list. Finally, thanks to google and a little gumption on my part, the mystery was solved. And if you recognize the guy in the picture and have flash enabled on your browser, it can be for you too!

Hope my folks like it!

(Oh yeah, I should mention to all the kiddies that Frank has a potty mouth of sorts.)

2008 AL MVP

jayaresea — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 06:49:28 GMT

	= WRONG
	= RIGHT

STOP SCREWING UP. YOU ARE HURTING BASEBALL.

KO

jayaresea — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 06:54:32 GMT

Hot Stove Wiffleball League Results

jayaresea — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 01:37:38 GMT

The 2008-2009 Hot Stove Wiffleball League has come to a close, and the Horsemen are quickly forgetting their 5th place, no-playoff finish in the 2008 regular season.

The Horsemen improbably came out of the lottery with the #1 pick and quickly snatched free agent powerhouse Jason Eberhardt with their selection, immediately bolstering their offense and improving their pitching depth. It was a no-brainer move for the team that placed a disappointing 5th during the 2008 season, despite Jason's penchant for rejecting walks and the relationship problems that may still exist between he and team captain Joe Creighton.

As per the rules, each of the 8 teams were forced to drop their lowest-ranked player into the "minors" and pick a new player from the 8-man free agent pool that ran the talent gamut from Eberhardt (1998 Rookie of the Year, .400+ capable hitter) to Jeff Regsiter (10.00+ ERA, sub-.100 batting average capability). The full list of names, in the order they were drafted, the team that drafted them, and the player they're replacing in parenthesis:

1. Jason Eberhardt - Horsemen (Eric Christensen)
2. Adam Eberhardt - Y&R (Jordan Lockhart)
3. Kyle Archibald - Playerz (John Robins)
4. Jeff Boian - Old Timers (Mickey Kendall)
5. Jeff Kragel - Wiffolution 51 (Jeff Morrison)
6. Justin Gosling - Living Legends (Aaron Kemper)
7. Ricky Stephens - Holy Whites (Mike Walsh)
8. Jeff Register - Road Warriors (Pat Plummer)

The men in parenthesis will become free agents after the 2009 season and will be "drafted" before the 2010 season.

In addition to the release/draft roster changes, four 2008 players chose not to resign with their team and are now with new teams. In what basically amounts to a two team, four-man trade, the Playerz saw Matt Holmberg and Bill Rozak head to the Old Timers and in their place took in both Joey Holt and Luke Carriere.

The new rosters for each team as they head into the 2009 season, with a sampling of their final 2008 stats:

Team        Name           AB   HR    OPS    IP   K   ERA 
RdWarriors  D. Cain       161   23  1.230  37.0  60  3.89
            C. Henning    118   17  1.113  30.7  55  2.87
            D. Uhland     179   13   .873  39.0  50  3.28
            J. Register    --   --     --    --  --    --

HolyWhites  S. Carmichael 194   46  1.613  60.0 119  1.07
            J. Deatrick   191   15   .754  42.0  72  2.57
            T. Beynon     137   11   .895  30.0  51  3.47
            R. Stephens    --   --     --    --  --    --

LivLegends  T. Creighton  202   36  1.337  42.0  53  3.33
            C. Wattenberg 182   15  1.009  48.0  49  1.67
            N. Stuempfig  138   13  1.026  39.7  52  3.13
            J. Gosling     --   --     --    --  --    --

Wiffolution C. Sylvester  153   13   .868  37.0  58  1.30
            M. Plummer    169   27  1.302  43.0  91  2.79
            D. Evans      198   14  1.027  38.0  54  5.58

            J. Kragel      --   --     --    --  --    --

Horsemen    J. Creighton  187   29  1.468  40.3  59  4.76
            S. Yoder      192   16   .806  57.7  95  1.66
            I. Byrd       175   23  1.099  35.0  44  2.29
            J. Eberhardt   --   --     --    --  --    --

Old Timers  M. Holmberg   174   25  1.124  43.7  64  3.57
            B. Rozak      113   23  1.519  27.0  31  4.44
            M. Montgomry  218   16   .824  57.0  80  3.02
            J. Boian       --   --     --    --  --    --

Y&R         J. Vassar     184   17   .838  53.0  94  1.43
            D. Byrd       143   24  1.272  30.0  31  7.07
            G. Creighton  172   10   .771  39.7  53  3.03
            A. Eberhardt   --   --     --    --  --    --

Playerz     M. Smith      177   15   .813  40.0  47  4.50
            L. Carriere   184   28  1.338  40.3  47  3.47
            J. Holt       158   16  1.189  33.0  44  4.61
            K. Archibald   --   --     --    --  --    --

It was then determined which players returning from 2008 will either improve or worsen in their pitching and batting abilities by fractional amounts, if at all.

The last item to be addressed was the contract lengths of each player for each team. Contracts ranged from 0-3 years (0 meaning the player was granted a release and signed with a new team) and will take effect with the 2009 season. One year contracts will end after the season and the player will have to decide whether to re-sign or be placed in the free agent pool. If a player winds up being the 4th-ranked player on his team, his contract is voided and he is released from the team.

Random thoughts on the new rosters:

1. The Horsemen are a lot better. They have an outside shot at all four guys cracking the 20 HR barrier. All but guaranteed to make the playoffs, and with Creighton's track-record, basically a sure-shot to win the title.
2. Road Warriors and Holy Whites are the only two teams who took a definite step back. All other teams either remained steady or got better. Unfortunately for the Road Warriors, they had to drop a guy who had a 1.73 ERA and replace him with a guy who will likely at least quadruple that number.
3. The Playerz are, again, going to give up a lot of runs. They will also score a lot.
4. The Y&R will have a much better offense thanks to Adam Eberhardt and a return to form by Vassar, but Greg will get worse, Derek will regress to the mean batting-wise, and they're gonna give up lots of runs. I don't see any better than 5th for them.
5. The Living Legends cannot repeat their storybook 2008 season. No way. Losing Aaron has made them all happy though.
6. Jeff Morrison's gotta be pissed. He was dropped from his squad despite a gaudy .370 batting average thanks to his 5.38 ERA and his missing 6 more games than Dean Evans, and he knows he'll be among the first selected in the 2010 draft, which means he'll probably end up on the Playerz or the Y&R and not his dream team, the Horsemen.

Obligatory Immaturity lol

jayaresea — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 22:36:07 GMT

As far as I'm concerned, politics-wise I'm on a honeymoon right now, so I'm gonna indulge my sweet tooth for a second before having to revert to once again being serious about shit.

Sorry World

jayaresea — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 20:59:23 GMT

Let's start da healin'

Good Night

jayaresea — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 05:38:53 GMT

Balls

jayaresea — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 00:15:10 GMT

My gf's had a dorky crush on Steve Young for as long as I've known her. I've condoned it because I was a fan of his left arm during my puberty years and, let's face it, he's not a bad looking dude. She could definitely have picked worse backups for me. Now I'm starting to feel a little love for the former Niner QB's wife, who recently told CA's Prop 8 to talk to da hand. Steve basically says "no comment"...which in this context may as well mean "I agree 100% with my wife."

Maybe we can get together for a double date sometime and play footsies under the table.

One step back, two steps forward.

Happy Halloween!

jayaresea — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 16:32:32 GMT

I wish I was back in grade school so I could dress up as this for the day and bask in everybody's admiration.

Lots more fun to be had here. I'm also partial to the "Snake Charmer", "Anita Waxin", and "The Shocker" costumes. So hard to choose. Oh, to be 10 again...

Godless American

jayaresea — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 05:49:27 GMT

Take a quiz to ensure you're going to the right church. I'm apparently more Mitt Romney supporter and terrorist than I am the religion I was subjected to as a kid.

MST3K Turns 20

jayaresea — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 05:25:34 GMT

I don't remember how old I was--maybe 10?--but in one of those late 80s/early 90s years I had an older cousin who moved in with us. He was from the Bay Area, about 15 years older than me, and in town looking for a teaching gig. Eventually he found a job and moved out, but not before teaching me some of the greatest lessons a mid/late 20 year-old cynical bastard can teach an impressionable pre-teen with a pre-stache and really bad acne:

"Please don't eat your bologna sandwiches while sitting near my computer."

and

"Eating spaghetti with butter & olive oil every night for dinner, and then saving half of it for tomorrow morning's breakfast, is perfectly normal and even admirable."

and

"Women, especially blond women, are evil."

and

"What's with this Kenny G tape? Here, listen to this Van Halen album instead."

and

"There is this show on Comedy Central you would love. It's called 'Mystery Science Theater 3000.' Yeah I know, but ignore the title. Trust me and watch it. Just keep that can of soda away from my computer."

So I did. Five minutes in, I was hooked. It used to come on Saturday nights at 7pm, and it was two whole hours long. The premise: some guy is shipped out to space by his evil mad scientist boss (and assistant) and forced to watch realy really really bad movies in a makeshift theater. So he builds some robots to keep him company and together they sit in the theater and trash the movie they're being forced to watch. That's it. At that age I found it difficult to sit through a whole two hours of bad movie (no matter how funny their riffing...especially those slow-moving B&W flicks), but I could tell this stuff was amazingly awesome as I was still relatively new to the whole snarky humor genre. I loved the shorts (10-20 minute trips through 1950s-era educational film hell) that preceded movies not long enough to fill the two hour time slot. I also loved how in their opening credit montage of them watching films from seasons past, I saw one of the episodes they'd done was "Godzilla vs. Megalon." This was humorous since we actually OWNED that movie and I had watched it about 30 times thanks to sick/rainy/bored-out-of-my-mind days of yore.

Time went on, I watched when I could, though it became near impossible when they moved to the sci-fi channel for their final 2 or 3 seasons. Sure enough though, in 1999, that same cousin who introduced me to the show some years back let me know that the series finale was set to air. He taped it for me, and I spent the next 4-5 years watching that tape roughly "Agh, giant robotic seahorses!"
"This will fool them unless they look at it."
"Can I have another Ho-Ho?"
"If he swallowed the silver thing, we\'re sunk."
"Would you stop being stealthy and just get in the truck?"
"I\'ll save you as soon as this giant mink gives birth to me."')" onmouseout="UnTip()">50 times w/my college roommate, never once tiring of it.

Tomorrow, they celebrate the 20th anniversary of the start of their little show with a 4 DVD box set (vol 13 overall, I think). It was one of the only things I've allowed myself to buy this year. I highly recommend you ignore this month's phone bill and buy this instead...especially while it's not $70.

Three weeks?

jayaresea — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 01:02:41 GMT

Three weeks since a post? Over three weeks? It's not like I've been running, so what's my deal? I think I have writer's block...not that I'm trying to insinuate I'm some sort of "writer." But I have things I *want* to write about...but I just can't get started. Or I can't finish it. I have like 3-4 half-written posts that are just sitting there, boring me.

I'm also trying to redesign this page cause it's been over 3 years looking the way it does, which is way longer than I would have thought I'd stick with one look. Actually, I didn't think I'd still be writing after three, but now that I have, I thought I'd have done at least one design change.

That being said, let's get serious for a moment. About the World Series.

Tim McCarver. Joe Buck.

They're KILLING THIS for me. I either have to watch on mute, or I have to take 15-20 minute breaks for every half inning I stomach and watch Gossip Girl or something instead. Who likes these guys? And don't get me started on that fucking strike zone graphic thing they have for close pitches, where the pitch clearly hits a corner but their graphic shows it being 12 feet outside. I hate Fox.

The Biggest Loser = Me

jayaresea — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 05:44:58 GMT

Besides lusting after Jillian (right...oh you better believe it), how do I find myself sitting through episode after excruciating episode of The Biggest Loser? Actually, I should amend that for my own safety. Since it comes on Tuesday nights, I typically miss the first half while instead I'm busy raising hell at Greenlake during track workouts. But I admittedly do tend to catch the 2nd half of the show, regrettably. I blame the gf as well as a startling lack of options on what else to watch and/or do while eating dinner (besides of course that which starts with an "r" and ends with "ead a book, stupid.")

Some issues from the peanut gallery.

1. From here on out, should I refer to it as a "show" in quotes, since, let's not kid ourselves, it's really just one big commercial for Jennie-O Turkey Store and 24 Hour Fitness? And this is for a freakin' reality show. The reason we've been deluged with this tripe for the past 10 years is they're cheap as hell to produce. So why am I being subjected to not-transparent-at-all in-show advertisements for Ziplock freezable bags? Do they *really* need Ziplock's money?

2. This "show" utilizes the same time-killing technique America's Next Top Model has perfected*: the technique of showing something happen, and then having 2-3 talking head comments from people who were involved in that something telling us what we just saw, like we're nimrods who couldn't figure it out on our own. It's like the show's catering to both the blind and the deaf, but not us poor creatures who have both senses and don't need every event rehashed moments after we just saw it occur. Yes, I know Jillian came into the gym and started barking at you and that you caused you to start crying. I know because 10 seconds ago, oddly enough, they SHOWED Jillian walking into the gym, her barking at you, and you starting to cry. Can I have those 15 seconds of my life back?

*Of course by "perfected" I mean "gone way overboard with"

3. Fake drama/suspense is just something I'm gonna have to deal with, but can I have it in moderation, please? This past week, the cute blond girl's dad was having leg problems, as he's wont to do every week it seems. This guy obviously can't go on with this competition much longer. He's become a liability to both the show and his daughter. Knowing it's not fair that she get sent home with her dad who can't even exercise anymore let alone drop weight like the other lunatics on the show, they make up some rule that "this week, only one member of the losing team will be sent home, and the losing team must decide which person it'll be." Ok, right away you know that Blond Girl and Dad (right) are going to be the bottom team, even if the "show" has to fudge the numbers. Dad being laid up all week hints at that. It's kinda obvious. Regardless, they plow through* the campy and corny weigh-in scene and everyone acts surprised blondie and dad are "below the yellow line" (meaning they lost the least % of body weight and lose for the week). They don't want to acknowledge that dad being laid up is why this new rule was enacted? Fine, I can live with that. But no, of course we have to go even further with this little white lie and have the daughter/father pretend to have a freakin' tearful ARGUMENT about who should go home. Dad can barely stand on his water-filled legs, he might have a blood clot, and I'm supposed to believe the daughter REALLY thinks she should go home over him? This argument took up what seemed like 30 minutes of this show**. The entire time I sat there like a dumbass, waiting for the charade to end. Is it time for Seinfeld yet?

*I think "plow through," while appealing to my sense of rhythm as I write this, might be the wrong choice of words. How about "limp through at an interminably slow pace"? How many commercial breaks can they take during a weigh-in? How many "teaser" slo-mo shots of people's "shocked" faces upon seeing the new weight do they have to annoy me with as they head to commercial? And how many times can those "shocked" faces be not related at all to what happens after returning from the break? How many times do I have to see trainer Bob in slow-mo, shaking his head in disbelief, mouth agape, only to have them come back from commercial and find out the guy/gal on the scale lost an entirely average, entirely believable five pounds?

*Give or take 25 minutes

Back To Your Corners

jayaresea — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 06:48:22 GMT

"Look at me!"
"I can't"

Where was McCain's flap lapel pin?

200

jayaresea — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 21:04:24 GMT

I was all busy and eager with anticipation, scouring Oakland A's and Philadelphia Phillies boxscores daily to watch the horserace between Ryan Howard and Jack Cust to the hallowed 200-strikeouts-in-a-season mark of futility. The sport of baseball has been blessed with those lovable guys who swung and missed a lot, historically probably none more famous than Rob Deer, who would not only strike out 175 times a year (in only 450 ABs or so), but would post real ugly .207-esque batting averages. Jack Cust is probably the closest thing we've got to him in this era. This year, it was gonna come down to the wire. Howard broke the record last year with 199. Entering today's games, Howard had 196 and Cust had 192. Both had three games left. Cust was merely an outside shot, but you never know with these free-swingers. Tonight he might whiff 4 times.

Then Mark Reynolds, a name I barely knew and a name I had NO IDEA went down swingin' so much, snuck in when I wasn't looking and accomplished the feat today. I never thought to check the overall strikeout leaderboards. I just figured Howard and Cust were leaps and bounds over anybody else except maybe Adam Dunn, who I knew was not on record pace.

Next year I will not be blindsided. Kelly Shoppach, I've got my eye on you.

Karate Kid beef

jayaresea — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 00:45:13 GMT

You know those movies you've watched since you were four years old? You've seen them a million times, which obviously means you derive some sort of pleasure from the whole process. You know the scenes by heart, you almost know every line by heart. But...there are little moments in the movie, despite its greatest, that gnaw at you. You never think about those moments when the movie's not playing, but when you see it for the 947th time, you can't help but wince and again think "oh yeah, what the hell is with that?!" Not necessarily continuity errors; those are usually just sloppy mistakes that the moviemakers either never caught or were too lazy/financially-strapped to fix...I'm talking about just plain bizzare behaviour on the part of the characters that come and go without explanation.

Last night the girlfriend floored me when she announced her desire to sit through all of The Karate Kid. Bored? Perhaps. You might guess that The Karate Kid is one of those movies I described above. You'd be right. I remember being 5 or 6 years old and mom coming home with it on VHS one day along with the groceries. I don't remember why she got it for us (just being nice? it was 99 cents and would shut us up for 2 hours at a time?), but I do know I still have the freakin' tape to this day. Unfortunately the VHS copy, due surely to its hundreds of viewings, fouls up right in the middle of the All Valley Tournament at the end. Awhile back I borrowed a DVD copy from my bro, and for some reason he's yet to ask for it back.

The scene in this particular movie that bugs the hell out of me upon every viewing is the beach scene early in the movie, when Daniel meets Ali With An I and I'm still mostly alert. It's night time, the bonfires are raging, and the Cobra Kai (god bless 'em) are scheming to crash the party while Daniel teaches Ali his dumb little soccer juggling technique while simultaneously trying to hide his raging boner.

So, while Daniel and Ali are two steps from copulating right there on the beach, the movie needs them to separate briefly so Johnny can confront Ali and ask to talk while obnoxiously turning off her boombox. That way Daniel can interupt, try to play hero, and instead get his ass kicked in glorious fashion, setting up the movie's protag/antag dynamic. But how to separate them and get Ali back to her boombox?

The decision *seems* to be having Ali, who's not very good at juggling soccer balls ya see, mess up and accidentally kick the ball sorta kinda far away which Daniel would run off and fetch. But the actual presentation of this does not match. What happens is:

Ali, with a serious look on her face, like she's well beyond sick of Daniel's awkward flirting, just drops the ball and PUNTS it towards the ocean. Daniel of course says he'll retrieve it, like the whipped dog he already is. Ali immediately turns around and heads back to her group, seemingly hoping Daniel can't swim and drowns in the Pacific.

By the time Daniel's brought the ball back, Ali's sitting with her group having a heart to heart with the Big Man On Campus. If I'm Daniel, which let's thank god I'm not, I take that as a major hint that She's Just Not That Into Me, get on my bike, and ride home in tears. Of course we all know Daniel doesn't do this. He instead tries to play hero and 20 seconds later he finds himself inhaling sand as Johnny and his goon squad's bikes squeal off in laughter.

Now, as I sat there last night, I knew the scene was coming as the movie progressed, but I figured Claire didn't have quite the memory of this film I have, so I silently anticipated her untainted response, if any, to Ali's cold actions towards Daniel.

And upon seeing Ali drop-kick the ball 100 yards down the beach:

"(laughter)...what was that?!"

Whew, I wasn't alone.

All is forgiven a few scenes later at the school's soccer tryouts, where the Cobra Kai successfully bait Daniel into yet another little scrap (this time vs. the guy with the ultra-feathered hair). I don't know who to credit, but Daniel lands one of the most realistic-looking punches I've ever seen. Doubly impressive considering the pipe-cleaners he called his arms.

The question remains though: what was Ali's problem on the beach, and how come the film crew didn't notice her character shift while shooting?